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Many eons ago, every Saturday morning without fail, I'd get up ready to pop-lock and drop the gospel. I'd get dressed in my best potato sack jean skirt, and stylize it up with white socks & tennis shoes. The epitome of fundie fashion--Baby I had it goin' on! Then it was off to the recruiting grounds. Look, I don't know if your heart is supposed to go 'lub-dub, lub-dub, tingle, pop', but this activity nearly drove my social anxiety off the charts.
For a solid hour we trolled the streets of your neighborhood: Behold we stand at the door and knock! And we are knocking to see if we can get you to change your religion. We sold you Jesus and the promise eternal life. If we were lucky enough to set someone on the path to Christendom, then the next step would be to follow up & disciple. The follow-up plan was quite simple, nag them into the church, nag them into baptism. This set up a pattern of passive-aggressive phone calls and surprise visits. "We missed you this Sunday." A loving sentiment covered in snark. We know your phone number. We know where you live. We are persistent. There's only one thing you can do: Toot that thang up mami, make it roll into church.
Well, what the Hello Kitty, I got a hatemail--or perhaps some words of encouragement. It never ceases to amaze me how many christians can't be bothered to read the Bible. There is no point in arguing with me about "god is love" if you haven't read the book even once. A little background on myself: I have read the bible (KJV) several times through. I also have memorized chapters of the bible. I was a public speaker at many women's events. I am no authority, but I do think I have a good smug understanding. While some sheep blindly believe that god is big bundle of love, there are a few that have actually read the Bible & understand that he is a god of HATE!! I did want to address two things:
1. You need to come back to Jesus.
NO.
2. You need to repent for being a homosexual or will go to hell when you die!
I no longer fear hell. Bravo for harping on homosexuality. Read Romans 1, and solidify all the good book's justification for the death penalty on sodomites. Smile and be proud of yourself for not catching the gay...That's right, there are some evil people out there & those dirty, vile...eh...wait...what's that last part...? --Oh No! It can't be! Verse 32 "...they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them." So there you have it, if you even so much as watch a TV show with a gay character, you are just as guilty!
However if all else fails, please defer to Psalms 139:21-22. It's ok for you to hate me. Jesus is a hater. Either that or he has a mood disorder.
(Psalms 5:5, Psalms 11:5, Proverbs 6:16-19, Malachi 1:3, Romans 9:13)
Prayer. The answer no matter good or bad is always god's will. Why is it that some people waste time doing nothing more than praying to some dude in the sky? If he really answered prayer, wouldn't there be a whole lot more richer, healthier or at the very least less balding people walking around?
Your friend recovered from his deathbed? God's will.
Your friend died on his deathbed? God's will.
Have 10 kids? God's will.
Have 0 kids? God's will.
Saying that anything that happens is god's will is stupid and accomplishes nothing. Prayer is also a catchall for waiting around and avoiding reality. And what happens if the answer is an undesired one? Look at the flow chart.
