I'm not familiar with that term

Sheltering and avoiding contact with the world is an important part of christian growth. I ate, slept and lived the fundie lifestyle. The outside world was scary, wicked and ungodly. My brain magically repressed that only a few years prior, I had actually lived in the real world. Soulwinning was my main contact with normal society. Every. Single. Saturday.

During my stint to be the bestest of the best, I went through a No TV phase. I grew up quite sheltered as a child, so TV free wasn't a hard transition. I don't even have cable now. When I do watch TV, my attention span is so short that I usually stick to 30min comedies/animation. **Nerd alert** One of the reasons I probably don't watch much TV, is because I'm a bit OCD on finishing the entire series.

After soulwinning, we often traded stories about the people we came in contact with. One hot button issue was the separation of male/female. This day the guys had an undetermined sex the door. A few jokes were cracked about not being able to tell which gender the person was. And then it happened.

I listened to a church member tell a story that was almost verbatim from "Family Guy". His friend had mistakenly got into an argument with a man who turned out to be a woman. Not only was his story, not true (lying ass), If I admitted I knew where it was from, then I would be admitting that I was familiar with the all too secular show. What's a fundie to do when Two Worlds Collide??? Of course, I did the polite thing and smiled at his little story. Now please excuse me as I try to pretend that this lady isn't a hottie.

http://twitter.com/katemoennig

Crazy, I'm crazy for feeling so blue

My interpersonal skills suck. Growing up, everyone thought I was just 'shy' and would eventually come out of my shell. It wasn't until I left fundamentalism that I finally decided to get help. I have social anxiety disorder. (Finally, a medical reason for my aloof, assoholic ways explained.) Religion in general places a huge emphasis on perfection. I wonder how many fundies are struggling to maintain a pure image? Outwardly pretending everything is great with false smiles to cover up the insecurity inside. I used to think I could pray away the KRAZY. After all, if god wanted us to have mental illnesses, he would've handed them out at alter call. Why is mental illness often overlooked, downplayed or demonized in religion? Religious logic deems that "God has given us a sound mind", 2 Tim 1:7 should be enough to handle any postpartum, post traumatic stress, or post wtfhaveigottenmyselfinto depression any christian faces. If the fundie prays hard enough, and all unconfessed sin in their life is accounted for, then surely everything will be fine. With prayer, meekness and a quiet spirit, they can do everything the right way at the right time, um, rightly. After achieving rightliness, all emotional eggs can be put in one basket and.....oh shitzu!...Dammit, I almost had a point, and I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling bible: "There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death."

The quest for perfection driven by competition, superiority

Many Christians are so bent on perfection that it leads to the single most annoying character trait in my book: Superiority. As the fundie strives for perfection, there is an intense competition to be the best. Sure, everyone likes to win, but fundies take this to a whole notha level.

Have you ever met those people that are "so spiritual" they can't even have a normal conversation? They answer the phone with "Hallelujah" instead of "Hello". Every other word out of their mouth is some spirit-filled-babble-nonsense. ANYONE who talks like this is a show off who is aggro-filled & needs their meds.


FakeFundie: Well I'm sure am blessed. Hallelujah, Sister, let's just take this to him in prayer.

Me: I just asked you whether I should wear the pink dress or the blue one. What the funk? Do you think you could at least ask a mutherfudging open ended question?


The phrase "you'll know them by their fruits" is so prevalent in the world of fundie. I guess everyone wants their fruit to be the most visible, plump, juicy sweetness in the church. This then sends the fundie on a lifelong intangible race of Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence. I once knew a member who was so competitive, they wouldn't let a 5 year old win at board games. Seriously. "You won again at Hi-Ho-Cherry-Oh?" Wow, you must be the best mickificki on the planet!

My point is, it's stupid to spend your whole life competing on things that are intangible. What better way to illustrate how stupid this is than MSPaint?