Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Thank you for not discussing the outside world
A true fundie must shield their children from all that is secular, wordly. Fundies are notorious for living a life of exclusion. After all, they can not properly brainwash if they are exposed to differing points of view. I often think of all the little pleasures given up for fundamentalism. Organized sports for one thing. Fundie logic usually deems total separation; Sports take away your focus from god. Therefore little Junior does not even have an option to hang out with their peers. On the fundie-lite side, sports are allowed as long as there has been a careful, calculated ploy to reduce exposure. This means only approved playmates in a god-filled environment. Go Team!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Phun Phoundations Part 1: Phamily
The ideal fundamental family has dad + mom = children o' plenty.
Dad. Dad does not smile. He does not show any character weakness of non-violent emotions. The father's role is a spiritual leader, head of household & all around jackhammer-of-all-trades. If your dad is not out working 16 hour days, you have failed as a fundamentalist. Dad's enormous pressure to support the entire family on his income, often leaves him grouchy. When dad walks through the door--leave him alone. He doesn't need to be bothered with gossip, junior's schoolwork, or bills overdue. Get out of his way. He is dad, he is King, his word is the law. All others are free to ride his pimp slap to oblivion.
Mom. Perhaps the most challenging job of all. Mom is on call 24/7, with no sick days, vacation, or pay for overtime. Her job is to keep the house & kids on track. Every good fundamentalist mom homeschools her children. If you are a mom & you are not homeschooling, then you are evil, wordly & allowing satan to be the instrument of sin in your child's life. If you're mom & you have only 0-1 kid, God surely hates you. Mom needs to be busy, not with the hellivision, but with guiding the house. No one in the house will accept anything less than homemade bread, homemade dresses for the girls and homemade manners. Remember, if your house is not spotlessly clean, the kids quiet and respectful, then dad will be tempted to sin. It's your job. Get on it.
Kids. A fundamental family should have enough kids to use the buddy system. i.e. each child has a younger child they are paired up with to take care of. Hence, the ideal family has at least 6 kids. The shining star of the fundie kidz can quote his bible verses, play an instrument, and spearhead's family night. Fundie kidz learn early on the evils of sex, drugs & rock 'n roll. They are vocal about their beliefs. Their career aspirations include missionary, pastor, or piano player.
Dad. Dad does not smile. He does not show any character weakness of non-violent emotions. The father's role is a spiritual leader, head of household & all around jackhammer-of-all-trades. If your dad is not out working 16 hour days, you have failed as a fundamentalist. Dad's enormous pressure to support the entire family on his income, often leaves him grouchy. When dad walks through the door--leave him alone. He doesn't need to be bothered with gossip, junior's schoolwork, or bills overdue. Get out of his way. He is dad, he is King, his word is the law. All others are free to ride his pimp slap to oblivion.
Mom. Perhaps the most challenging job of all. Mom is on call 24/7, with no sick days, vacation, or pay for overtime. Her job is to keep the house & kids on track. Every good fundamentalist mom homeschools her children. If you are a mom & you are not homeschooling, then you are evil, wordly & allowing satan to be the instrument of sin in your child's life. If you're mom & you have only 0-1 kid, God surely hates you. Mom needs to be busy, not with the hellivision, but with guiding the house. No one in the house will accept anything less than homemade bread, homemade dresses for the girls and homemade manners. Remember, if your house is not spotlessly clean, the kids quiet and respectful, then dad will be tempted to sin. It's your job. Get on it.
Kids. A fundamental family should have enough kids to use the buddy system. i.e. each child has a younger child they are paired up with to take care of. Hence, the ideal family has at least 6 kids. The shining star of the fundie kidz can quote his bible verses, play an instrument, and spearhead's family night. Fundie kidz learn early on the evils of sex, drugs & rock 'n roll. They are vocal about their beliefs. Their career aspirations include missionary, pastor, or piano player.
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