Separate and Unware

One major difference between Fundamental Baptists and other forms of Christianity is separation of male & female. Men wear pants. Women don't. You can get a good idea of how involved a woman is if she is a dresses only kinda woman. If she has reached this stage, run away quick! Here are my 3 stages of fundamental womanhood:

At this point she is a casual observer. She is still an abomination because she is wearing men's garments & her hair is short & trendy. The men in the church secretly admire her because this is the closest they can get to looking at the buttocks maximus.

At this point her conscious is probably bothering her & she is feeling 'convicted'. She has started wearing dresses to church & major functions. However, she is only performing the minimum fundamental standard: a) dress just to the knee b) hair just long enough c) high heels for attracting the brethren. She also has weird grooming habits such as wearing makeup, doing her hair & bathing daily.


This is the last stage. At this point, abandon all hope. She is now wearing the dreaded dress to the cankles. She has stopped cutting her hair completely & now has split ends & fly aways. She's probably gained a few pounds, but doesn't notice since her dress covers a multitude of fatty sins. *Note the awesome use of tennis shoes & white socks with a dress.