The Confessional Booth

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned...
It's the end of the service & time for prayer. The pastor encourages those who are not saved to come forward. Then it's time for the fundamentalist confession booth. No, I'm not talking about Catholicism, but there IS a confessional booth in the fundie world. It's called the altar, & good old-fashioned guilt trips filled with syrupy sweet buzz words get you there. Words that are over enunciated and the piano/organ sets the mood for a dirty, hot, steamy...uh...

"If you're sitting there today, & something in the sermon stirred your heart-a, I want you to come forward-a.."
"Someone here has sin in their life that they need to confess to God-a.."
"You've been praying about an area in your life that you need to change-a.."

Generalized terms that could potentially apply to anyone. If you go to a big church, good, you're safe & no need to take the long walk of shame. But, if you go to a small church, you're faced with a decision. Do you go & risk the rumor mill? Do you stay at your pew & risk the rumor mill? You can't win. The confession booth is for Sister Betty to have something to talk about on Monday.

And in other news, Scarlett Johansson is like totally, totally hot! Don't say I didn't warn ya!

"If you're struggling with sin-a, you need to get it settled today-a"